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Okay, the “anon” is a lie. It’s a lyric from Def Leppard, and I didn’t want to admit it. While they are a cool band and I grew up listening to them, they are no Led Zeppelin. Blah.
It’s still a profound quote as it is something that has been studied for decades. Is anger passed through the gene pool? I am here to tell you as a former angry person and a father who was angry, the whole idea that anger is a genetic thing is …
It is the same as racism and intolerance. They are LEARNED behaviors. Sure, how you were brought up is much your parent’s fault, but it is YOUR fault for staying that way. Read that again. And again. Until that ultimately sinks in.
Remember early in these lessons that I told you that everything in your life, the good AND the bad is your fault? Own your shit. Take responsibility. This is no different. It is all part of the bigger picture, and I will drop another bomb on you.
Anger Management is bullshit too.
Remember “Serenity Now” from Seinfeld?
Let me tell you a secret that most therapists and “self-help gurus” won’t tell you because they want you to keep coming back and spending more money.
You are angry because you lack control, fear consumes you and allow manufactured drama to seep into your life. Ever wonder why you snap at the smallest things? Yeah, that’s exactly why. Lack of control, fear and unneeded drama filling your head and you just “pop” for no reason.
You already know it is eating you inside. Affecting your health, your sleep, your sex life and your business. But you still don’t fix it.
What exactly does fear do? It makes you act defensively over the most ridiculous things, and afterward, you wonder, “What in the hell is wrong with me” as your outbursts are usually directed at those you care about the most. This can damage your relationship with your significant other, your kids, business partner, etc.
Here is another bomb I’ll drop on you. Anger isn’t bad. If something bad happens to you, anger is a natural emotion. What isn’t natural is always “being on edge” ready to blow. Remember Mike Ditka with the Bears? The local sports guys would have bets on how long it would take for Ditka to blow during an interview.
If you are still struggling with anger, drop the “counting to ten” bullshit and other mind exercises “gurus” will tell you to do. You have to get to the ROOT of the problem, and that is the story in your head that you keep telling yourself. You know the story. It is a lie. You know things should be better with your business, your relationship, your health, etc.
Guess what you have to do?
That’s right, FIX the problem. If you don’t even know what the problem is, you can’t fix it. Have an honest conversation with yourself today. Dig deep on what is the issue. Set a goal to fix the problem and discuss with your business partner or significant other so they can hold you accountable.
Stop the madness already and cut the fear, anxiety, and drama from your life and you will be amazed that the anger is no longer there.